Audio Transcript

Welcome back to the Ask Pastor John podcast. Tim, a podcast listener, writes in to ask: “Pastor John, I always thought a complementarian view was the ‘right’ view, but after seeing different churches go against the view, I ask: Is there a biblical right or wrong view (1 Timothy 2:11–15; 1 Corinthians 14:34–36; 11:2–16)? More specifically, is God pleased with both a complementarian view and egalitarian view as long as we see Christ as our deepest joy and highest treasure? What advice do you have for people who have trouble answering this? In other words, is Christian Hedonism only for complementarians?”

Several things come to my mind to say when I hear that cluster of questions. And the first is that I am sure many of our listeners don’t know precisely what these two terms complementarianism and egalitarianism refer to. They’re probably blurry. If they have heard of them at all, they have heard different things. So, I don’t like fuzziness. I don’t like ambiguity. I don’t want to talk about something that people don’t know what he is talking about.

“I would happily commend Christian Hedonism to everyone, no matter what view of manhood and womanhood they hold.”

So, let’s spend some time with definitions. Here is what I mean by complementarianism and egalitarianism: Complementarianism is a way of thinking and living that flows from the conviction that God created human beings as male and female, equal in worth, both in the image of God, both heirs of the grace of life, both fully capable of direct allegiance to the Lord Jesus Christ, both fully redeemed from sin in Jesus, and both destined for eternal joy and eternal significance as children of the Creator of the universe — and that male and female are designed by God and appointed in his word for some distinct and complementary roles in life, owing to the fact that they are male and female.

That is where the word complementarian comes from. God intends for the differences between men and women to find expression in complementary relationships as taught in Scripture. For example, Ephesians 5:22–25, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

So, complementarians read that and we believe that God has designed husbands, by virtue of being husbands, not wives, to be the head of the marriage and the home, and that this headship means at least: Bear the responsibility of a kind of leadership or initiative, and bear a special sense of responsibility for protection and provision. And wives, with their God-given strength and wisdom, come alongside their husbands and support that leadership. That is what submission means. They help their husbands carry it through. That is what “helpmeet” in Genesis 2:18–20 means: come alongside their husbands, help carry through their leadership as part of the overall dynamic of the family.

Complementarians believe that this way of relating is not rooted in competencies, their presence or their absence — you have got competencies or you don’t: that’s irrelevant — but in the God-designed realities of manhood and womanhood. And complementarians believe that this God-given pattern glorifies Christ and his covenant-keeping relationship to his church, his bride, and that it leads to the greatest and longest joy. And complementarians believe that similarly, in the church, God has designed for the men to be the overseers or elders or pastors with the responsibility of teaching and governing the local body of Christ as Christ led his disciples with servant-hearted initiative and vision and courage, which means as Christ-like examples to the flock.

One of the main passages there that we look at is 1 Timothy 2:11–14, “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” In other words, the two functions Paul assigns to elders as distinct from other kinds of leaders in the church — namely, authority and teaching — he appoints to men: authority, governing, and authoritative teaching in the church. And he roots this leadership in the order of creation and in the dynamics of the fall. Satan sidelined the man and drew the woman into the role of spokesman in the moment of crisis. He reversed the roles that God had intended.

So, in summary, complementarians see God’s design for our good in the complementary roles for men and women for leadership and submission in the home and a similar structure in the church. There is more to say, but that is the summary.

Here is my definition of how I understand egalitarianism. Egalitarians, on the other hand, believe that in Christ those kinds of sex-based role distinctions are done away with and that the relationship between a husband and a wife should not assume that the husband’s manhood implies any unique leadership role or that a woman’s womanhood implies any unique role of submission. Similarly, in the church, manhood and womanhood should not, male and female should not be a decisive part of the criteria by which leadership roles are assigned. And key passages for them would be Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Or Ephesians 5:21, with an emphasis on the mutuality, “submitting to one another out of reference for Christ.” And so on.

So, with those two definitions in my mind, now I am in a position as a complementarian to answer? I think I saw three questions that were asked.

1. Is there a biblical right or wrong view?

Yes — Of course, things in real life are never quite as tidy as they are on paper, and many couples and churches probably get some things more or less right and some things more or less wrong in the application of complementarianism or egalitarianism. I am sure my life has not been a perfect example of a biblical pattern either at home or at church. But there is a view that is true and right, and it is not good to relativize this whole thing by saying that there is not.

2. Is God pleased with both a complementarian view and egalitarian view, as long as we see Christ as our deepest joy and highest treasure?

No — God is never pleased with a shortfall in one part of his word just because we excel in another part. This is important for all of us to realize — all of us — because all of us do fall short in some parts of God’s instruction while succeeding at other parts. And those successes never justify the failures.

Let me give just an example from the Scriptures of what I mean. Paul wrote to the Corinthians and he began in chapter 1 with lavish praise. He said, in verses 4–6, “I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge — even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you.” Wow. I would like to be such a beneficiary of that kind of praise. And in 1 Corinthians 11:17 he says, “But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse.” So, if we are walking out of step with God’s word in one area of our lives and in step with God’s word in another area of our lives, we should never content ourselves thinking that God is so pleased with our obedience that he will also be pleased with our disobedience.

3. Is Christian Hedonism only for complementarians?

No — of course a person who disagrees with me about complementarianism may agree with me about Christian Hedonism. He won’t flesh it out in all the same details of relational dynamics that I do, but the fundamental truths can be joyfully embraced. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. Therefore, let us always pursue satisfaction in him and take as many people with us as we can, even if it costs us our lives. That is my summary of Christian Hedonism.

“Whenever we embrace any aspect of biblical truth, it has a refining effect on the rest of what we believe.”

In fact, I would say one final thing. Every time any of us embraces any aspect of biblical truth, it can have a salutary, refining effect on the rest of what we believe. That is, it will sooner or later exert an influence toward truth in every area of our thinking and our living. That is the nature of the coherence of truth — at least, that is the effect I hope it has on me. I hope that every refined or clarified or new truth that I embrace has the effect of correcting other areas of my life because of how truth is of a seamless fabric.

So, I would happily commend Christian Hedonism to everyone, no matter what view of manhood and womanhood they hold.